Have you ever thought about who you would be today if your child hadn’t died? I know we think a lot about who our child would have been, but what about us, the mothers and fathers, left behind? My son died when he was 42. He had dreams of building a vacation home at “the homestead” — in the field where he grew up. I would have loved that! He and I talked about that a lot! His last trip home before his death we walked the field that adjoins my home and he and I stood on the spot where he wanted to place his home. “Can you see…