Child Loss is Turning Me into a Hermit
What happened to me? Countless parents of child loss ask that question because they feel and act so different after their child died. What happened? Why do so many withdraw from society following loss? Why do so many avoid social situations of any kind? What’s going on? So, what do we do? Are these changes permanent? Are they good for me? Grief is a heavy load to carry, and we shouldn’t do it alone. Yes, we’ve changed, but not all of the changes have been bad. We now understand the pain others are feeling. We now understand the value of time over things. We now appreciate all of the little…
Faith Struggles During Child Loss
Faith struggles during grief and child loss are not new. When King David's son Absalom was murdered David was inconsolable.
Sometimes There is Nothing That Can Help
When a child dies, we are desperately looking for some kind of help. Something or someone to encourage us is what our aching heart needs. But, the reality is that there are times when absolutely nothing can help. There are no words. There is no action. Nothing. And, so we sit in our pain trying to absorb the depth of what it means to have a child die. Such was the case both times when my two sons died — one son died in utero — a stillbirth. Another son died unexpectedly in the prime of his life of a massive heart attack. Both times knocked me to my feet…
When My Child Died, Part of Me Died, Too!
Ask any parent and they’ll tell you that they will never forget hearing those words, “I’m so sorry.” Those three words can change a parent’s life and turn their world upside down in a split second. When I heard those words being said to me on the phone about my son I truly believe that in that instant part of me died, too.
Going Into the New Year Without My Child
The New Year has arrived, but it didn’t arrive fresh and new with a clean slate like promised. For me the lingering pain of child loss resides in my heart and has taken permanent residence. I guess I wasn’t expecting the pain to go away; but I was hoping it would somehow feel lighter this year. It doesn’t.
The Grief of Child Loss Hurts Worse in Year Two!
Nobody can really explain what the pain of losing a child is like. It’s a pain that only those experiencing can understand. Undeniably, it’s the worst pain anyone will ever go through! Naively, I thought the pain of losing my son would feel a lot better in year two. Was I in for a heart-wrenching surprise! That second year knocked me to my knees and left me feeling so empty that I didn’t even know if I was truly alive on most days.
Mother’s Day Without My Child
I marked the date on my calendar months ago. I’m feeling the pressing ache in my heart more and more with each passing day. Mother’s Day used to be such a day of celebration, but not any more. This is the second Mother’s Day without my son, and the pain has grown increasingly worse with each passing day. I keep telling myself that this is just another day, but that’s a lie. This is Mother’s Day, a day is is supposed to be celebrated. Instead, I’m facing it with a brokenness that is unable to be fixed!
- Child Loss, Explaining Child Loss, How to Validate Your Child's Life after Death, What to Say to a Grieving Parent
“Why Can’t People Understand My Need to Grieve?”
My son died. He died suddenly, without warning. On that warm day in May, the lives of so many people changed when my son’s life on this earth ended. He was the strong one in the family. He was the oldest brother and the one that the others looked up to always. He’s gone and our hearts are broken and life will never be the same again! It is now going on two years since Mike died. Life has gone on for most everyone except his immediate family. For us, the pain is real. The pain is cruel. The longing for Mike overshadows every day in a million different ways.…
Keeping Score After Child Loss: Good Mother or Bad Mother?
It’s tormenting to lose a child. I put myself through an emotional wringer every day. It’s almost like I’m keeping score. There is the good mother column and the bad mother column, and the bad mother column always has the higher points. I know it’s crazy. I know I’m punishing myself, but I still do it. I remind myself over and over again of all of the missed opportunities I had to be a good mother and it’s breaking my heart.
“Child Loss Changed Me Overnight and I Don’t Like the New Me!”
We’ve all heard the expression that a person turned gray overnight. Well, I didn’t turn gray overnight when my son died, but I turned into a different person — a person I don’t always like. Yes, my physical appearance has changed. When I look into the mirror the twinkle in my eyes isn’t there. My hair doesn’t shine any more. My skin has a strange color — dull, and has lost elasticity. In a word, I aged overnight. That’s what a broken heart will do!
