My first son was born sleeping twenty-nine years ago.  I was so devastated with grief that I thought I couldn’t live.  I honestly didn’t want to live for several months after this loss.  It has been almost three decades now since little Samuel was born asleep.  What’s it like?  I did a lot of hard grieving for more than twenty years.  I’m talking hard grieving.  I found it difficult to even look at a baby or a pregnant woman, let alone feel joyful.  When Samuel died, part of me died, too.