Child Loss and Family Pictures: An Entirely New Meaning
I’m not exacly sure when it happened, but somewhere around age twelve I became a photo nut. There was hardly ever an occasion when I didn’t have a camera in my hands. I’m still that way today. I have taken thousands and thousands of photos, and now that digital photography is available, I’m always snapping photos. It’s irritating to some people, but I love to have a photo to remind me of time spent together with family and friends.
This week while having a rare, but necessary, meltdown, I was sobbing in bed one evening and decided to look through some of the thousands of photos stored on my computer. It wasn’t until then that the light came on. I finally understood why photos are so important to me. Pictures aren’t just pictures — they really and truly are “important” to me!
If you’ve been following a little bit of my story, you know that my sister Carmella died when she was thirteen years old. And, one of the most sad things I live with every day is the lack of pictures I have of her. Not only do I lack pictures of her, but I don’t have any family pictures except the one posted here.
Please listen to my story, and I’d love to hear your comments on this.
I can remember this picture being taken in Egg Harbor City, NJ a few days before Christmas. My mom and dad (in this photo) invited an aunt and uncle and my cousin to our small home for some home made pizza. But before eating, we were going to have a family picture taken. My mom dressed my sister and I in brand new satin dresses, fixed our hair (do you like my crooked bangs?), and got us ready for our family photo.
Right before it was time to take the picture, though, my mom and dad got in a horrendous fight. I have no idea what it was about, but they were screaming and yelling and I can still see the pan of pizza sitting on the stove ready to be eaten as they continued to argue and fight. Suddenly, the pizza didn’t look so tasty. My stomach was a ball of nerves as my parents continued to call each other names and spew out curses at each other.
After they calmed down, my Aunt Josie took this picture for us. I remember hugging my little sister Carmella and wiping her tears away (it’s scary listening to your parents fighting!) and telling her to smile really pretty for this picture. Little did I know that this would be the one and only family photo we’d ever have!
This picture is priceless to me. I’ve looked at it thousands of times and I know that before my time on this earth is over I will look at it thousands of times more. This picture grows more and more precious to me with each passing day!
My sister was two in this picture and I was four and a half years old. Today, as I look at this picture, my heart is so heavy because this is it — there are no more second chances for family photos. Little did we know that in a few years my sister would be gone from this earth. I had another sister born nine years later, but by then other tragedies had struck our family– my mom had gotten very ill and was left partially paralyzed, my dad and mom divorced, and never again was a family picture taken. They would never agree to having a family photo taken because they didn’t want to be in the presence of each other — not even for the few minutes it would have taken for a photo.
Today, my mom, dad, and my sister Carmella have left this earth leaving only my sister Ruth and I. This is our one and only family picture. Incomplete. I begged them to have a family picture with all five of us, but that never happened.
I made a vow when I had children that no matter what happened between me and their dad, I would always have at least one family picture taken a year. Is it sometimes a hassle? Sure. Are the pictures always great? No. Of course not. Is everyone always happy to have those pictures taken? Not hardly! But, those pictures are priceless! We have no guarantees of our life on this earth. None. We never know when a child is going to be swiftly taken away from us and then we will have no more chances to have a “complete family picture.”
I realize that to parents this might not have the same meaning, but as a sibling of child loss, I wish so much that I could have just one picture of Mom, Dad, me, Carmella, and Ruth. At one time we were a family. I’d love so much to have that memory preserved for me. There were many, many happy times on our farm growing up. It would only have taken 60 seconds to snap a picture, but my parents didn’t see the importance of it at the time.
Child loss is loss on so many different levels. We lose a sense of completeness. We lose a sense of family. We lose a sense of identity. We lose a feeling of togetherness. One picture is worth a thousand words. One picture is worth a million smiles. One picture is worth more than silver and gold.
I urge you to make time for at least one family picture a year. Why? Because those pictures just might serve as a special healing and peace in years to come!
This is Carmella’s school picture taken shortly before her death.
Take those pictures, please! They will bring some comfort in years to come!
If you’ve already experienced the loss of a child, it is my prayer that you have at least one family photo that was taken prior to the death of your child. It might be too painful for you to look at just yet, but there will be a day when that photo will bring a bit of comfort to your soul.
Love,
Clara
I realize that not everybody shares my views on the importance of photos. I welcome your insights and comments. This is how we learn to travel through this most painful journey called child loss.
Read Clara’s Books:
Child Loss: the Heartbreak and the Hope
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46 Comments
Fiona
I love taking photos but after my son died I am so painfully aware of his presence missing at every happy event it very bitter sweet.x
Clara Hinton
Fiona, How true that is! I keep looking at this one family photo I have and it just breaks my heart. I love looking at it, but it makes me hurt so much to know that all three are now missing from this photo. I find that I cherish any moments i have with family — even if those moments are only 5 minutes! I wish so much that we didn’t have to experience so much pain in this life!
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HENRY BURDEN SR.
I ENJOY LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MY FAMILY…..SOME OF THE EARLY ONES, AND SEVERAL OF MY DAD’S FAMILY WERE LOST, WHEN OUR HOME BURNED DOWN A FEW DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS IN 1976…..PERHAPS IT WOULD BE WISE…TO KEEP PICTURES, IN 2 DIFFERENT PLACES….EVEN STORED DITGETAL ONES…..TJANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY…..GOD BLESS
Clara Hinton
Henry, Thanks so much for this comment! It’s so very important to make sure we don’t keep all of our photos in the same place for the very reason you’ve stated! I began dividing photos among family members several years ago so that the photos are spread far and wide, plus I keep several digitally (on paid sites) in case my computer crashes. We, too, experienced a house fire and lost many, many cherished photos that can never be replaced. 🙁
Cheryl Holman
The night my son died, I poured all of the photos that I had of him on the floor and cried that I had so few that were recent photos. It always seemed like he wasn’t there when photos were being made or when he was there, we weren’t thinking about photos. I cried my heart out that I didn’t have a recent photo and then suddenly, it occurred to me that I had made his photo just 6 days prior and the photos were in the camera!!!! There was no material possession that I had that was more valuable to me at that moment. It was a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. I agree, we need to make sure that we are photographing our loved ones regularly since one never knows when we might not have them anymore
Clara Hinton
Cheryl, I’m so very happy that you had that recent photo of your son! We never know the value of photos until we really need them! I love taking photos as a hobby, but it really is more than a hobby. I never want to be without a recent photo of my children. I’m so glad that God blessed you with that photos of yor son! Thanks so much for sharing! I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son.
Becky Nunziato
I’m a mom of 4, 2 by my 1st marriage and 2 by my current marriage. We have many pictures which I always refused to be in, because I’m overweight and don’t like being in pictures, I was always going to lose weight, thought there would always be time for more pictures. I’ve just been happy having pictures of my children, grandchildren, etc., then six agonizing months ago my 3rd born, 23 year old daughter died and now I regret so badly not being in the pictures with my children, I have very few of my 4 children together and even fewer of my children with me beside them. What a horrible regrettable mistake. I am what I am, woulda-coulda-shoulda, I know my children love me regardless of my appearance and not being in pictures didn’t make me any thinner. Poor judgement on my part about something that can’t be changed now 🙁 Thank you for this site.
Clara Hinton
Becky, I’m so very sorry. 🙁 So often we don’t even give pictures a thought. You have no idea how many times my children have fought me on taking a picture of them together or of taking family pictures. They thought it was all so stupid. You are beautiful just the way you are and your children love you with all of their hearts just the way you are. You cannot go back and take those pictures over again, but you can begin new from this point forward. Get in those pictures with your remaining three children. They will be treasures for you and your family forever.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Sometimes life just doesn’t make sense.
My love and special thoughts to you.
Cheryl Holman
Becky, I did the same thing! My family has about 10 photos of me since 1978!!!! After my son died, I too regretted that I only had a very few baby pictures with me in the photo with him and only 1 with him as an adult. So, lesson learned? I now make lots of photos with the grandchildren, even if my hair is a mess, wrinkles are too many, belly is too fat, clothes don’t match or ugly….make the photos! Who cares anyway? They will….. if one day when you are gone and they don’t have any photos to remember what you looked like or even if they remember, they won’t have a photo to show their children as they tell the memories of you. Grandchildren think you are beautiful anyway!
Clara Hinton
I just love what you said! It’s not about how we look that matters. We’re loved because of who we are. Let’s take those pictures!
kokoj
About a month after my daughter was killed, my friend thought it would be healing to take me to a scrapbook event. As I looked through the pictures that I brought of my only child, I felt an overwhelming sadness come over me. Looking at the pictures of my daughter was sad enough, but I began to feel regret that I had not taken more pictures. I had very few pictures of us together and compared to the mountains of pictures that others had,my pictures seemed insignificant. I was reminded by a very caring mom at the event that it was difficult for me to be in a picture and take one at the same time. She reminded me of the many events that I had participated in with my daughter. It made me feel better about the few pictures that I possess.
Konajah
Clara Hinton
Konajah, I sure do “get it” about what you’re saying. I’m in very few photos, too, BUT I always ask my kids to take just one picture of me in a photo with them so that I’ll have that as my keepsake. It doesn’t always happen, but I try. I’m so glad that a mom who understood was able to encourage you by reminding you that you were there with your daughter — you were the picture taker. And, I’m so thankfulthat you had photos. What a wonderful idea to have a scrapbooking event! I think that’s one of the best ideas I’ve heard yet for bereaved parents!!! Thank you so much for sharing!
Vicky Kelley
I have tried so many times to convince people that photos are important. Since my 5 year old daughter died last year, it is even more important. One of my sons took a picture of her that day. It’s not great, but it is in a frame in his room. I also wish I had more video of her voice, saying anything. It wouldn’t matter what. I even emailed her speech therapist for the audio she had made at one of her appointments. I have a couple of short videos of her dancing to a video game. What I wouldn’t give to have more. Hundreds or thousands more…
Clara Hinton
Vicky, I’m so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter. I’m so glad, however, that your son took a photo of her on the day she left this earth and that you have that precious moment in time captured forever and always.
I think you’ve brought up another important topic — videos and preserving our children’s voices. As parents we play videos over and over again of our children just so we won’t forget what their voice sounded like. That’s one area where I’ve been not so good! However with digital cameras I have no excuse. I’m so glad you have videos of your daughter dancing! I’m sure you’ll watch that video thousands of times….what priceless treasure! My thoughts and prayers are with you! I know you’ve encouraged many today!
Brenda Wilson
Clara I fully understand about the pictures. We had a family picture taken when Marsha was about 6 or 8 months old. That is the last family picture we had taken before she died.
Marsha was our fourth and last child. A total surprise! When I found out I was going to have her, I cried. I was through having children. My oldest daughter was 5, my next, a son, was 4,and my 3rd, also a son, was 2. I worked full time and didn’t want any more children. But I was over being upset in a day and was so happy. When Christa, our oldest, was born, I tool her picture every day sometimes two or three times. When Mark came along I still took a lot of pictures. With Scott not nearly as many. And with Marsha very few. I did make it a point to have their pictures taken every year. At that time the movie cameras were a big thing. But again I had very few of Marsha. I remember her asking “Mom why am I not in any of the movies?” I also remember telling her and laughing “oh you were adopted and we just didn’t take any of you.” Words that were not true and have been regretted for the last 30 years. After she died I didn’t have picture taken of the other three until they were 19, 18, 16. We also had a family picture taken then. But it is so hurtful to look at because she isn’t in it.
But I am like Becky, I have very few of me with the kids. Mom was always taking them or just didn’t get in them.
If we could only see into the future, things would have been a lot different. But, God is in control and only He knows when our time on earth is over. I just enjoy every minute with my kids, great grand kids, and my great, great,granddaughter that I can. I can’t go back and change things, but I can change things from now on.
And thanks for this blog. I think I want to do one in Marsha’s name. I think it is very neat.
Thanks for letting me share!
Clara Hinton
Brenda, Thank you so much for sharing your comments! Alsmost every parent alive has done what you did — we get lazier with taking pictures of our children as time marches on. It’s because with the first child we’re so excited and that child takes up all of our thoughts, etc. When other children join the family we have less time and less energy and we don’t take as many pictures — not because we’re less excited, but because we have so much less time. I’m so thankful you have at least some photos with your sweet Marsha in them! And, we learn……I learned from my pain just as you have learned. We understand how fragile life truly is, and we know what holds special meaning for us. My photos are my treasures. Honestly, a burglar could enter my home and take anything and it wouldn’t have much meaning as long as I have photos of my children! Photos cannot be replaced; things can be replaced.
Thank you so much for your comment. I’m sure you’ve inspired many to make a real effort to take pictures today while we can!
Kathy Lizotte
Thankfully we have many pictures of my beautiful daughter who died in a car accident 5 years ago next Sunday. The pictures I have out to see everyday bring comfort, but a picture I see unexpectedly, maybe that a sister or friend have, well those pictures take my breath away. We do have maybe 3 not so good pictures of all 11 of our children and I cherish them!!
Clara Hinton
Kathy, I’m so very, very sorry for the loss of your daughter. 🙁 I think those “unexpected photos” trigger memories that catch us off-guard. They bring a flood of memories to the surface that sometimes we’re just not prepared for. I’m so glad you have at least a few photos o all 11 of your children together…..they don’t have to be great photos (at least not for me). They just have to capture the moment….and often the not-so-great ones are really our best ones! U love the natural, unposed photos. They capture the true personalities of our children. Thank you so much for your comment!
Vicki Sharp
My 22year old son died Jan2 2012 from a RX overdose. We had just spent our week in the Bahamas like we do every x-mas. Addison had been drug free for six months had made excellent grades at college we thought we had turned the corner. He kept saying those drugs are my soul I hate them. However he was addicted to opioids and now I know it is really an incurable disease. We passed major legislation in our state after he died and it carries his name for eternity. Addison was always in a Christian school love The Lord and had no problems at all telling others about Christ. Little did we know the morning after coming home he obtained opana a drug used for hospice patients to help them die. He couldn’t get what he wanted so he took that not knowing about the drug. My daughter who is ten years older than him were extremely close. Jessica has always been the picture taker and we have hundreds of pictures of all of us, but the ones taken just two days before he died I will treasure forever. Life without him will never be the same such a void. We also called him our entertainer so very quick witted I would laugh till I’d wet my pants. Oh the loss the void our whole world was centered around him especially when the drug usage started we did everything we could. It was Gods plan but life will never be the same. Picture city at our house. I am so thankful to have them and such wonderful memories from the day he was born.
Clara Hinton
Vicki, I am so sorry to hear of the death of your son. I’m so glad you now have legislation passed in your state (carrying your son’s name). What a lasting tribute to the life of your son! He sounds like such a wonderful, special young man!!!! I am so very glad you have all of those photos!!! I think as others read comments such as yours they will be inspired to take more photos. We get lazy in things such as this, and often don’t ever think of the meaning they might have some day. Treasure those photos and use them as a means of some healing to your soul. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment!
Cindy
I have never been a good picture taker. By that, I mean I just don’t take pictures. I will take the camera out at Christmas with the intention of taking pictures of everyone. And before I know it, it is all over and there is the camera just sitting on the table. I get upset with myself. Especially since my son died. I have combed my camera and phone trying to find a picture of him. Now I wish I had taken more pictures. I think it is wonderful that you love to take pictures. I realized one day that I didn’t have a recent picture of my son, so I walked in his room and took a picture of him. He was just sitting on his bed playing his guitar. Glad I took it.
Clara Hinton
Cindy, I’ve become the official picture taker for our family. My kids have all kinds of cameras, but when we get together it seems like a pain to get out the cameras, so I do the picture taking and I always ask for them to take at least one picture of me with them. I learned so much from the pain of losing my sister and a son and not having pictures. That will never happen again. I also make sure I share my photos just in case my computer crashes, I have a house fire, etc. I spread the pictures throughout the family. I never store them all in one place.
I’m so glad you took that picture of your son playing his guitar. I’m sure that one picture is a “forever priceless treasure.” Sending many hugs your way today!
Judy Mills
I don’t even remember when or how I connected with your posts to Silent Grief – Child Loss on Facebook, because it was in the dark days after my son’s death due to a Rx overdose. However, over the last few years, your words have been so ON TARGET to what I’m feeling and going through, and now you are giving us another means of ‘remembering’ our children.
One of the ways I got through those early days after my son’s death was to feverishly work on a scrapbook…………..and thank heaven, I had saved every paper, note, card, picture, toy, baby clothes, etc. BUT, even with all of those things, the most important item was the numerous pictures. Pictures of his birth, pictures of him with me, with his dad, with grandparents, birthdays, etc. It was easy to put together his childhood scrapbook…………but……..
What was missing were pictures from his adult life. Kev died in 2010 just before his 33rd birthday. He had lived quite a distance from me for years, and although we saw each other, the pictures of his ‘life’ between the ages of 20 – 33 were missing.
This age of the internet, easy connections, digital photos, etc, enabled me to get LOADS of photos from his friends……..Through a face book page set up in remembrance of my son, his friends posted pictures of Kev fishing, dressing up for Halloween, playing air guitar, cooking, spinning records, etc. Through these posts and the generosity of his friends, I was able to complete a fabulous scrap book filled with very good, realistic pictures of my son doing everyday, fun things.
I will always be grateful to his friends for this gift……….
And thank you, Clara for this blog. As you know, talking about our children or anyone we have lost brings them back just for a split second or two. I appreciate your words and insight into our grief.
j
Clara Hinton
Judy, It’s so good to be able to get to know you better! It’s hard for me to keep up with everyone individually on my FB page, so I felt like this would be a good thing for all of us to get to know each other a bit better. I appreciate so much what you’ve said about the blessing of sharing digital photos. Thank God for today’s technology in that respect! I’m so glad that your son’s friends shared photos with you from those years when you had so few photos. What a blessing!!!
My love to you. I’m so glad to see you here!
Diane Brooke
My family has always been big on photos and I am so thankful for it. We had a family portrait taken the last time the family saw my son, Brian. He left the next day to start a new life in another state. I love the pictures we have of him and they make me smile as much as they make me cry.
Clara Hinton
Diane, Thanks so much for sharing your story. It just re-emphasizes again how important these photos are. With digital cameras, photos only take a minute or two. We don’t have to be posed all perfect for a picture to have great meaning. It’s just important to have the photo! Thank you so much for your comment!
Barbara
We have always taken pictures family and just the kids. My kids were always very silly and had so much fun taking pictures. Now since the loss of my son i don’t know how to take family pics anymore this is not my family anymore it is just wrong. Having found the son i put up for adoption just a few months before Leevon died and we were all going to get together in Aug he died in May we never had any pics with all of us. Now i don’t know how to do family pics with my “new” son and not my other son if any of this makes sense. I am so afraid that someone will want to do a family pic and i will offend him by not being able to do it. THIS IS NOT MY FAMILY I have over ten thousand pics of the kids and family pics every year at least once. the kids would go get pics done as gifts to surprise me i don’t know if i can ever do it again,
Darlene
Photos are definately of the utmost importance. My parents were together for 56 years and finally married when I was 47 years old at that time we were able to get all of the family together. We have photos of each couple with and without their children, all of the siblings together, all of the girls (mom included), all of the boys(dad included), and then the entire clan from this day! My father just passed away Sept. 4, 2012 and my son followed him June 13, 2013. Two years ago we had our third family portrait done, adding two stepgrands and a new son-in-law. This photo was very difficult to get everyone together on but when we finally did we got some great shots! Our son, was in the process of divorcing his wife so we lose her from the family and then he lost all hope of a happy future for himself and ended his own life, so we also lose him from the picture. The sadness this brings is insurmountable …. on the flipside of this…we have a new grand daughter and a new grandson one from each daughter…so the next family photo will have them in it and we have decided to add “Uncle Joe” in an 8×10 photo held by Dad and I ….he is missed and loved so much and these photos of a happier time will keep us moving forward….
Clara Hinton
Thank you so, so much for your comment! You’ve explained how important it is to get these photos taken, as well as how important it is to gather the family together at least once a year! Why does life get so busy? I think we live in a world that is rush, rush, rush, and we don’t realize the super important things sometimes until after the fact. Again, thank you so very much for your comment! I’m so very sorry for the the loss of your son. But, I appreciate so much your resolve to continue taking these priceless photos to serve as your “memory treasures.” I’m so thankful that you have those photos!
Deborah McIntyre (@DJTheCook)
My son died when he was 17…20 days before his 18th birthday. The last picture I have of him was one I took of him and his little sister, Elizabeth, whom he adored. She is 10 now, and I wish I would have taken more pictures of the two of them together. I’ve never liked getting my own picture taken, but I’ve got at least 3 full photo albums full now of pictures of Elizabeth through the years. Your story made me realize I need to take more pictures of the two of us together so she’ll someday have pictures of her own for memories when I’m gone. Thank you for your story 🙂
Clara Hinton
Deborah, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son. Thank goodness you have a photo of him with his little sister!!! And, I’m so very glad that you have photo albums full of Elizabeth! Please, please do get in some pictures with her. My kids cringe when I get out the camera, but I know that one day these photos that I’m taking will be their treasures! Thank you for sharing!
Wilma Paulsen
My kids always moaned about me taking photos. Anytime was a photo moment. I always told them “mom’s making memories” Never in my wildest dreams would I realise that they would not be me, but our lovely only daughter Nadia who would become the memory. Her photos are all I have. They are priceless.
Clara Hinton
Wilma, Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your only daughter Nadia. I hope and pray that her photos will remain a comfort to you. It’s so hard to look at our pictures of our child that is gone, but if we didn’t have them…..it’s even worse. Those pictures do really become priceless! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Terri
Thank you, the photos are precious, and you’re right, we should have more family photos taken, you never know who won’t be there for the next one. I am still struggling with the loss of my son in 2009. He committed suicide at the age of 26. He was my only child. Some of the posts on the FB page sound like I wrote them, they reflect exactly the way I feel. I feel a little better when I read the posts to realize there are people who feel like I do, I’m not crazy, or just refusing to ‘get on with my life’. Not that you shouldn’t, but it is just not the easy thing that people make it out to be. Thanks for the place to talk.
Clara Hinton
Terri, First of all let me say I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son. Suicide is something that so many people are afraid to talk about. I think there is such a fear in knowing that suicide is real. I wish I could reach through these pages and give you a big hug. You’re not at all crazy, but sometimes we feel like we are. It’s so hard to life with the death of a child (and in your case your only child). I don’t think it’s really possible to understand much about child loss unless you’ve personally felt the pain, and that’s why places such as this and our fB page are so important. We can gather together and express ourselves where people “get it.”
I’m so glad you’re here, and I pray this place with give you some additional encouragement.
donna
I do not have one family picture , my family never found time to.ask.for a family together picture and my son is now gone and Im to never have.that one photo to bring back to that beautiful place of being a unit a family from within that picture….This was a beautiful story one everyone shoud read and make sure before its too late to grab that camera grab a stranger if necessary and take that family photo….Life is busy parties are work most of the time Moms are cooking serving etc but stop for a.moment and grab a piece of Memory while its still here please, I wish I did !
Clara Hinton
Donna, I’m so sorry that you don’t have one family picture, either. 🙁 I appreciate your comment so much! “Grab a piece of memory while it is still here…” Perfect words!!! Thank you!
Anita
Less than a week before my son passed away, he took a picture with his computer’s camera and used it for his Facebook picture. I look at it often because he wasn’t smiling like he usually does. I wonder if he was feeling bad that day and didn’t tell me. He had lost weight after starting college due to all the walking. Even though it only shows his face, it’s the only picture of him after he lost weight. I’m so glad to have it.
Like Terri, he was my only child. Thank you Clara for putting my feelings into words. I’m glad to know that I’m not out there alone with my grief. Soon I will try to comment on your post about Living With Guilt — when I’m ready!
Clara Hinton
Anita, I’m so, so glad that you have that picture of your son! Isn’t it amazing how much one picture can mean to us? I’m so very sorry for your loss. Some people don’t like FB, and I know it can be used for drama, etc., BUT there is also so much good that comes from it. And, in your case, you now have a photo that is a treasure.
Losing an only child is a grief that is such a complicated grief. Please don’t ever feel obgligated to comment on a post — when (and if) you are ready make a comment. My only prayer is that parents will find this a place that brings some additional support. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
Nichole
My daughter Melanie died at three weeks old and I have always been sad that we don’t have a family photo. We have some with mom and sister and baby. We have some with dad and sister and baby. But we don’t have any of the four of us together. I have always been sad about this. It would have been nice if someone had the foresight to take that for us. At the time it was the last thing on my mind and it would be so nice to have available now for comfort.
Clara Hinton
Nichole, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your daughter Melanie. I think very few of us ever think about having a photo together that early when life is so hectic with a new baby. We always think, “Oh, I’ll do this later.” And, later doesn’t seem to come. I’m so sorry that you don’t have a picture with the four of you together. Believe me when I say my heart hurts for you. Hopefully others will learn from our sadness. My many thoughts are with you.
Jill
I have 5 beautiful children. I lost my oldest just 7 months ago unexpectedly. He died in his sleep from an undetected virus. He had just turned 13. I am a picture nut. I have tons & tons of pics of the 5 kids. However, as I search through old pictures, I realize I have only 2-3 family pictures. Complete family pictures of the 7 of us. I’m so sad now. I don’t want to take anymore family pictures because they will not be complete….
Clara Hinton
I’m so, so sorry about the loss of your son. And, I “get it” about not wanting any more family pictures. This is truly a heartache like none other.
Elizabeth
I have always been big on family photos….I’m always taking pictures, and thankfully, because we lost our five year old Gabby 14 months ago very suddenly, and don’t take much video. I love all of my photos, but at the same time it breaks my heart to see them…..my gabby was to young to leave this earth……she was my baby…pure perfection. Her only brother (she has two other sisters), was born 2 weeks ago….I love him, and hope gabby met him before he came to Earth, but I miss her so badly….our family has been devastated by her loss. Her sisters are 9 and 15…..I sometimes wonder if my 15 year old is affected, or maybe she just doesn’t show it……I hate what our family has become….I want my old life back:(
Vicky Kelley
When I had a photo taken of our three remaining children after the loss of my youngest last year, her favorite stuffed animal was in the photo. The photographer did not understand and thought it belonged to my other daughter. I was not going to enlighten her, either. It is not the same as having my baby in the pictures, but we know she is there in spirit.